i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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