I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize