dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
