One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just want to make out with him forever
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