Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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