Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
