No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
