Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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