Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
