I got her a Nickelback box set.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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