Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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