You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Randomize
