i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
