STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
