I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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