No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can I color on your dick again?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
