If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize