the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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