It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
