So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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