SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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