whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
