There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
