I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
