Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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