So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
