ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
