my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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