Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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