Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
