she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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