I cockslap morals
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
