I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
