I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
