So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
