He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
