Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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