You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and she was petting her beer can
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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