not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
