with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
