his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
