all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
