once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
