well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
