Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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