Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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