I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
