Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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