You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My feet surprised me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
