No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
