ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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