a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
