I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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