dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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