Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
