i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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